Today I was sitting and I wondered for the first time, "How do zippers work?" while staring down at my jacket and trying to image how those little metal links get stuck together so well. That may be some indication as to how exciting my day was.
Things have gotten busier this semester than last. Even though I've finished *almost* all of my applications for Japan next year, I still have a few more to go. One is for a possible internship at Bandai/Namco that I know will be impossible to achieve, and second for the Bridging Scholarship. After a single application is finished and the deadline has passed, another shows up, and so continues the cycle. Even after my study abroad is confirmed, I'm sure that there'll be visa and health insurance forms to fill out, and orientations to attend. At least I'm busy.
A friend of mine recently found out about his acceptance to Tokyo for study abroad next year, and it makes me anxious to discover mine too. On the website it says a "notification deadline" of March 1st, and I know that that means I also wont be recieving anything before March 1st. That means three weeks. At least I know I've been forwarded by Michigan, if that means anything. Maybe all of the students that applied got forwarded though, I wish I knew.
Midterms are coming up, and I have a bad feeling that this year they're going to be a cluster-fuck. I don't like any of my classes and I'm so busy between the eighteen credits, being an officer in JSA and trying to take care of myself that I feel I don't have any control over it all. Somethings gotta give, and I think this semester, it's going to be the grades.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Oh Shit
Not doing anything over winter break has come back to bite me.
For my study abroad, there are two scholarships and one more program that I haven't finished the application for. One is due in about ten days, and I really haven't even started yet. That's for the IUC, Princeton's inter-university center for Japanese studies, the intensive program in Yokohama.
Another is for the Boren scholarship, which at the moment I'm working on the application for. Since the program is sponsored by the government, you have to argue how and why your program fits in with United States national security. Awards of the scholarship receieve up to $20,000 to help with the costs. However, there's a catch. Within three years of your graduation date, you have to work for the Feds for a year. That's a glaring detail I failed to notice only until today. My interests really aren't in national security, they're in teaching, but within my essays I have to find a way to spin it so it sounds like there's a relationsip. So much bullshit.
After these if i have to write one more application essay I'm going to go bat-shit crazy. This is too much. After around mid-January, everything (except for one potential scholarship) will have been taken care of, and all I have to do it wait.
Somehow I wish I didn't have to try for all of these scholarships I'm sure I'm not going to receive, but the program's so expensive, there's no choice.
For the Boren scholarship, submitting the online application tomorrow, or Tuesday at the latest will be my best option; if I don't I'm in serious trouble for IUC.
For my study abroad, there are two scholarships and one more program that I haven't finished the application for. One is due in about ten days, and I really haven't even started yet. That's for the IUC, Princeton's inter-university center for Japanese studies, the intensive program in Yokohama.
Another is for the Boren scholarship, which at the moment I'm working on the application for. Since the program is sponsored by the government, you have to argue how and why your program fits in with United States national security. Awards of the scholarship receieve up to $20,000 to help with the costs. However, there's a catch. Within three years of your graduation date, you have to work for the Feds for a year. That's a glaring detail I failed to notice only until today. My interests really aren't in national security, they're in teaching, but within my essays I have to find a way to spin it so it sounds like there's a relationsip. So much bullshit.
After these if i have to write one more application essay I'm going to go bat-shit crazy. This is too much. After around mid-January, everything (except for one potential scholarship) will have been taken care of, and all I have to do it wait.
Somehow I wish I didn't have to try for all of these scholarships I'm sure I'm not going to receive, but the program's so expensive, there's no choice.
For the Boren scholarship, submitting the online application tomorrow, or Tuesday at the latest will be my best option; if I don't I'm in serious trouble for IUC.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Years
Facebook is a wonderful tool for social networking, and what I like to call social stalking. Today I saw pictures that were uploaded by some high school friends of a New Year's Party; however, the pictures seemed strangely familiar to the 2009 New Year's party that I was invited to the year before. Same house, same decorations, same people dressing up. Except this time, the banner in the background read "2010." Curious. Guess I didn't get the invite this year.
But while flipping though the pictures of dressed up minors getting smashed on Bacardi, the thing I noticed was, how much I didn't care that I wasn't there.
While I've been at college, I haven't kept in contact with anyone from high school. Not even through Facebook. But I know it's been done intentionally. Should I have wanted to keep those friendships, I would have, but something inside me I think has been telling me that it was never worth it. At Michigan I have wonderful friends, and while sometimes I fail to check in on them as much as I should, in my heart I know that I'm happy with the people who are a part of my life.
Throughout the pictures I saw my old roommate's boyfriend, standing alone in almost every picture. Where was my roommate, his girlfriend for who knows how long? During high school they went everywhere and did everything together, if she was in town she definitely would have been in his arms... *Shock!* Did they break up? Or was she just out of town? Those two had been together throughout all of high school and showed great delight in showing the world how much they were in love. Very kissy kissy. Sometimes it was a little, well, gross.
On Monday I go back to Ann Arbor. Monday couldn't come sooner.
But while flipping though the pictures of dressed up minors getting smashed on Bacardi, the thing I noticed was, how much I didn't care that I wasn't there.
While I've been at college, I haven't kept in contact with anyone from high school. Not even through Facebook. But I know it's been done intentionally. Should I have wanted to keep those friendships, I would have, but something inside me I think has been telling me that it was never worth it. At Michigan I have wonderful friends, and while sometimes I fail to check in on them as much as I should, in my heart I know that I'm happy with the people who are a part of my life.
Throughout the pictures I saw my old roommate's boyfriend, standing alone in almost every picture. Where was my roommate, his girlfriend for who knows how long? During high school they went everywhere and did everything together, if she was in town she definitely would have been in his arms... *Shock!* Did they break up? Or was she just out of town? Those two had been together throughout all of high school and showed great delight in showing the world how much they were in love. Very kissy kissy. Sometimes it was a little, well, gross.
On Monday I go back to Ann Arbor. Monday couldn't come sooner.
Friday, January 1, 2010
American Cheese
For some reason food and I don't get along well sometimes.
After I've had a meal with maybe too much lactose, either ice cream, or cheese, sometimes greasy food will do it too... it comes back to haunt me with a vengeance. Right after I've eaten, my stomach starts to twist and shout, and it's then that I know I'm done for. Done with a capital D, there's nothing that do, except wait it out and swear to eat healthier from here on out.
That's one of the problems I think with American cooking. When we want to make things taste better, we add either salt or cheese, sometimes both, and the sad thing is that it usually works. Pizza, sandwiches, pasta, soups, salads, whatever. "When it doesn't taste good, fix it until it does" seems to be the golden rule. What I always find comical is when people eat salad with iceberg lettuce and then top it with ranch dressing. (You know who you are (w).) You might as well have a small glass of water and a shot glass of ranch dressing, because that's basically what you're eating. Sometimes I'm guilty of the same thing, in the past I've added cream to some soups to make it taste better, actually I even did that to ramen once, and it was really good.
For this year I really don't want to make a resolution, because I have a bad habit of breaking them. Actually, just because I never want to give up NYPD, but I at least want to be more careful about what, exactly it is I'm eating.
After I've had a meal with maybe too much lactose, either ice cream, or cheese, sometimes greasy food will do it too... it comes back to haunt me with a vengeance. Right after I've eaten, my stomach starts to twist and shout, and it's then that I know I'm done for. Done with a capital D, there's nothing that do, except wait it out and swear to eat healthier from here on out.
That's one of the problems I think with American cooking. When we want to make things taste better, we add either salt or cheese, sometimes both, and the sad thing is that it usually works. Pizza, sandwiches, pasta, soups, salads, whatever. "When it doesn't taste good, fix it until it does" seems to be the golden rule. What I always find comical is when people eat salad with iceberg lettuce and then top it with ranch dressing. (You know who you are (w).) You might as well have a small glass of water and a shot glass of ranch dressing, because that's basically what you're eating. Sometimes I'm guilty of the same thing, in the past I've added cream to some soups to make it taste better, actually I even did that to ramen once, and it was really good.
For this year I really don't want to make a resolution, because I have a bad habit of breaking them. Actually, just because I never want to give up NYPD, but I at least want to be more careful about what, exactly it is I'm eating.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Cookie Pain
This morning I woke up at 5:30 in incredible pain My tongue was on fire, or at least that's what it felt like. A few days ago I burned it on coffee, and on top of that I got a head cold. Now the burned parts don't feel like a burn, but like there's no skin separating the nerves from the outside. Pain.
At least this happened over winter break, should this have happened over school, it would have been more painful and I think a lot more embarrassing. Because I really can't talk that well. And what's possibly worse is I really can't eat either. At least eat anything that's good for me. Today I had milk, hot cereal, milk, and spaghetti to eat today, and cookies that were sent express delivery from Japan. (Love, the moment I can talk I'm sending you the biggest "thank you" I can muster, you're the best.) Those cookies were the best fucking cookies you could ever hope to taste in your life. They were shortbread cookies, with various fillings, peanut, chocolate, and lemon. So consequently, there was an internal conflict of whether it was better to avoid the pain and the cookies, or to go for it and suffer with
Naturally I went for it, and I'm glad I did, though perhaps my tongue isn't. But I would do it all over again. Oh how I would do it again. Why can't America make confectioneries like the rest of the world?
Been working on an art project recently, and I had to go and buy some glue today, which cost me a little over twenty dollars. All I wanted was glue but I ended up buying blank cards and varnish too, every time I go to an art supplies store that happens to me. At least I can make beautiful things with it, and then make people happy. That's what it's all for in the end anyway. How lucky I am, to have a talent that can make other people happy.
At least this happened over winter break, should this have happened over school, it would have been more painful and I think a lot more embarrassing. Because I really can't talk that well. And what's possibly worse is I really can't eat either. At least eat anything that's good for me. Today I had milk, hot cereal, milk, and spaghetti to eat today, and cookies that were sent express delivery from Japan. (Love, the moment I can talk I'm sending you the biggest "thank you" I can muster, you're the best.) Those cookies were the best fucking cookies you could ever hope to taste in your life. They were shortbread cookies, with various fillings, peanut, chocolate, and lemon. So consequently, there was an internal conflict of whether it was better to avoid the pain and the cookies, or to go for it and suffer with
Naturally I went for it, and I'm glad I did, though perhaps my tongue isn't. But I would do it all over again. Oh how I would do it again. Why can't America make confectioneries like the rest of the world?
Been working on an art project recently, and I had to go and buy some glue today, which cost me a little over twenty dollars. All I wanted was glue but I ended up buying blank cards and varnish too, every time I go to an art supplies store that happens to me. At least I can make beautiful things with it, and then make people happy. That's what it's all for in the end anyway. How lucky I am, to have a talent that can make other people happy.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Pokemon Trainer
You were in my dream last night. We were at some sort of school for becoming Pokémon trainers. As for the school itself, all I remember was that it looked a lot like my middle school. Except there was a train inside so didn’t take so long to get from one end of the hall to the other. But the train was more like an elevator, except it moved to the side instead of going up and down.
You had an Espeon, I think, and I remember being jealous because I didn’t have a Pokémon, but your Espeon was nice and you let me scratch his ears. We rode the elevator-train thing together, and I noticed you were wearing really weird hat. We were then taking some sort of written test, and I thought it was really hard and I was wondering why we had to be tested on this kind of stuff...
Sometime later I think I went outside and I was talking to you about how badly I think I failed, but it was really beautiful out. We were in the suburbs, night was falling and the sky was a pretty sort of orange. There was an art fair or something going on, and a lot of people were putting their art on their front lawns. There were beautiful white sculptures made out of soap, and glass art that would sparkle blue in the setting sun. Somewhere else a zip line showed up, but I can’t remember its relation to the rest of the story.
You had an Espeon, I think, and I remember being jealous because I didn’t have a Pokémon, but your Espeon was nice and you let me scratch his ears. We rode the elevator-train thing together, and I noticed you were wearing really weird hat. We were then taking some sort of written test, and I thought it was really hard and I was wondering why we had to be tested on this kind of stuff...
Sometime later I think I went outside and I was talking to you about how badly I think I failed, but it was really beautiful out. We were in the suburbs, night was falling and the sky was a pretty sort of orange. There was an art fair or something going on, and a lot of people were putting their art on their front lawns. There were beautiful white sculptures made out of soap, and glass art that would sparkle blue in the setting sun. Somewhere else a zip line showed up, but I can’t remember its relation to the rest of the story.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Dead Horse
Christmas is over, thankfully, and now I only have one more holiday to go until this "Holiday Season is finally done and over with. Of course that would be New Years. Normally, I end up tagging along with my brother to some party that he's been invited to. Last year I actually got invited to a party myself, and while that ended up being a lot of fun, I don't think that I've done enough to keep in touch with people for that sort of thing to happen again. There's still hope though for something last minute. We'll see.
Just a second ago I caught myself checking Facebook for the 20th time today, expecting something new. But the thing is, i never write on people's walls, so I don't know why I would expect a reply to come out of nowhere. From here on out I have to make more of an effort to connect with people, instead of expecting them to come to me, it's a bad habit of mine, but it's an easy one to fall into.
This year's Christmas was one of the worst I've ever had, and I don't say that to be moody or depressing, but it truly was. With my Dad, my grandparents, and my brother, we walked through the motions of what we've done for Christmas for most of my childhood, trying with all our effort to make it work. But it's useless; we're beating a dead horse. Things aren't the same, and they never will be.
Why we work so hard to try and return to the past is beyond me. There will never again be a Christmas like the one I grew up with, and to be honest, while the Christmas Past of my childhood was good, it's time for all of us to move on. Things are different now. Mom and Dad have gotten a divorce, I have a boyfriend, and I'm more independent than I've ever been before.
When we were "doing" Christmas, I couldn't help but think that I am so glad I'm going to be in Japan at this time next year. While I know that it's not good for me, I want to run away far from here. Far from this empty hole of a town. And I think it would be good for both of my parents to do the same.
My rant is done for tonight. One of my goals for the upcoming year is to update my blog more frequently, and this time, about happy things too, I promise. After all, there's more to a "wedding" than drama alone.
Just a second ago I caught myself checking Facebook for the 20th time today, expecting something new. But the thing is, i never write on people's walls, so I don't know why I would expect a reply to come out of nowhere. From here on out I have to make more of an effort to connect with people, instead of expecting them to come to me, it's a bad habit of mine, but it's an easy one to fall into.
This year's Christmas was one of the worst I've ever had, and I don't say that to be moody or depressing, but it truly was. With my Dad, my grandparents, and my brother, we walked through the motions of what we've done for Christmas for most of my childhood, trying with all our effort to make it work. But it's useless; we're beating a dead horse. Things aren't the same, and they never will be.
Why we work so hard to try and return to the past is beyond me. There will never again be a Christmas like the one I grew up with, and to be honest, while the Christmas Past of my childhood was good, it's time for all of us to move on. Things are different now. Mom and Dad have gotten a divorce, I have a boyfriend, and I'm more independent than I've ever been before.
When we were "doing" Christmas, I couldn't help but think that I am so glad I'm going to be in Japan at this time next year. While I know that it's not good for me, I want to run away far from here. Far from this empty hole of a town. And I think it would be good for both of my parents to do the same.
My rant is done for tonight. One of my goals for the upcoming year is to update my blog more frequently, and this time, about happy things too, I promise. After all, there's more to a "wedding" than drama alone.
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