Various Points

As much as I've complained about this experience, as much as longingly looked at the calendar and wondered how many more days I can make it here, I think I'm going to miss Middlebury. Not enough to make me come back, but enough to look back on this place with some fondness.

Something is special here, something different. Maybe it's the location; rolling hills bordered by low green mountains. Sunlight shafting sparkling through the branches of trees. There's not much out here, and while that makes for one shitty social life, there are, I have to admit, some advantages. Even now, almost midnight, the only thing I hear outside of my window is the wind sifting through the leaves. No obnoxious music. No howls and screams of drunken freshman. Just cool wind and starlight, like none I've ever seen before.

This weekend, I want to just sit outside in the shade and take it all in. Sometimes I wish I'd done that here earlier, but the weather has been less than desirable up until just recently. All of my friends want to go to Snake Mountain, wherever that is, tomorrow. For some reason I don't really want to go. Not because it doesn't seem like it would be nice, I'm sure that it would. Right now, I'd rather be left alone right now.

For our last discussion today in class, we talked about our dream life. Mine wasn't a whole lot different than it is now. That's easy for me to say, since my parents help me out financially in several aspects of life, but my own realization suprised me a little. What I need to be happy I don't think is very much. A few close friends, doing a job that I love that gives back to the world, and some free time to pursue hobbies. While I want to be in love with someone someday, if that never happens, everything will be ok. Whatever happens, I need to be happy enough with my life to not be in want of anything else.

Later tonight I sat with Prof. Naito at dinner. Sometimes it amazes me how people's personalities just attract you. You can feel warmth spilling out over their words and glances; just being there with them makes you content with the moment. Our conversation wasn't anything monumental, small talk really, but I remember looking at the clock on the wall, wishing that I had more time. Maybe someday I'll be able to be a person like that, that people want to be around. But the odd thing is that at the beginning, my first impression of her was drastically different. She seemed strict to me, not what anyone would call a "soft hearted". Whatever it was based on, my impression was very wrong. Middlebury ends soon, but I hope that someday I can meet up with her again.

Forever goodbye's dont suit me, even though I may have typed something in contrast earlier.